Choices...there are always a lot of those to make throughout the day. How many of them are the right ones? This morning I had the choice to watch tv or play with Raegan. Today I chose to play. We played Beauty Parlor! She loved being able to sit in front of the mirror and put on make-up. We curled our hair and decided that today was not a good day to have our nails done :) It was fun and when we were done we looked FABULOUS! But to be honest I usually chose the tv. Why do we spend so much time chosing things that don't matter? Like tonight, when we got home from church. It was almost 9pm and I was rushing Raegan to get ready for bed. I was rushing her because LOST starts at 9 and I didn't want to miss it. She, being the silly three year old she is, was being silly and dancing around her room. I snapped at her and told her 4 times in a progressively loud voice to get pj's on. Then once she was in bed and under the covers, for some reason I felt the need to scold her for having all of her shoes on the floor. Why did I do that? Was LOST really that important? NO!!!! Of course not, yet I chose to make it that important. My sweet little girl said in a small quiet voice, "I am sorry mommy." I am such a mean mom sometimes!!!
I truly understand the conflict Paul tells us about in Romans 7:15-19.. "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, and what I hate I do. I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do- this I keep on doing."
This is a picture of my existence!! My heart chooses the right thing...but that does not always happen.
Then you have the choices that are forks in the road. Which way do you go? How do you know which is the right way? Why doesn't God come down from heaven and answer these choices?? God, should I talk to this person? God, what do you want me to do with my life? Should I steer my children down this road, or the other road?
These choices are frustrating! Sometimes it is hard to know what he wants us to do. Sometimes I think, if I take the time to ask, he should be kind enough to answer. I mean, I am asking because I want to know what he wants me to do. Why is that so hard??
My wonderful, pastor, husband says he thinks that if you pray and ask God for an answer and He doesn't give you one, then the answer is do nothing. Stay still and keep doing what you are doing. God will answer you..
Tonight I pray that God gives me the strength to chose the desire of my heart and the ears to hear His answer!